Last night I wept for joy when my precious daughter was crowned MISS HAMPSHIRE COUNTY FAIR OUTSTANDING TEEN at our county fair. I waited my turn to take her lovely picture and my camera battery died. It was an omen--perhaps I should have demanded a recount. I grabbed my sister and a friend and asked them to snap a few shots for me. Just as I made it to the stage with Madeline's boyfriend, she approached us. In all her sparkly, dazzling beauty, she approached us. Her boyfriend handed her flowers and kissed her--a tender and appropriate embrace followed. In one hot second, the former Miss Outstanding Teen grabbed my daughter's arm and wailed, "No, no, no! No PDAs!" (Public Displays of Affection) She settled down, "We're not allowed to do that." I corrected my daughter, reminded her of the chaste purity of the Miss America Organization's girls, smiled at the former queen and apologized for my daughter's uncomely behavior.
The very next second, as we prepared to snap a family picture, my daughter was whisked from my arms. The pageant lady said she was needed in the back room with the judges; they were waiting. I told the nice lady it would only take a second. "No," she said. "She must go with us now. Come along, Madeline," she said. And she took her away from me. I stood bewildered.
What in the world is our year going to look like?
